Co-written by Josh and Archie
We are coming up to the biggest #HallmarkHoliday of the year – Valentine’s Day. I know most of you saw the title of this article and thought to yourself, “WTF is Womentine’s Day.” Well, there are a few reasons that I call it that. But before I get into it, I do want to point out I am NOT calling out anyone specific. If women I have dated and/or was engaged to (a huge mistake and a story for another day!) see this, don’t take it personal – it’s just business – literally. On second thought, I did maybe take one shot I guess – but its warranted. This is meant to showcase how many men feel when it comes to this holiday and why we may tend to not care anymore. Deeeeep breath… let the controversy begin.
The expectations set for Valentine’s Day are in fact the most stressful parts for most men. Before you even act like women get stressed about it, ask yourself this. When is the last time you heard a woman say, ‘damn I have no idea what to get my man for Valentine’s. I’m so stressed!” You haven’t right? Right – because this is a rarity. Valentine’s Day is essentially a women’s holiday. Women will say “Sweetest Day” is for men. But #SweetestDay is just Valentine’s Day 2.0! Another day for men to be stressed about all over again.
Wait. What? What’s “Sweetest Day” ?Archie (from Canada)
Sweetest Day is an October holiday celebrated on the third Saturday of the month as a day to share romantic deeds or expressions of kindness; observed in the midwest and northeast US regions and Florida.Google
…we’re slacking on holidays in Canada.Archie
On the other hand, if your guy is a #douchebag – well, then that’s on you. There are plenty of good-hearted guys out there and just because they are nice and normal and perhaps don’t fulfill that dark side of you with fifty shades of desire – then you deal with what you get. It should be treated as a ‘just because‘ kind of day; meaning each person does something special for the other just because they love and care for them. Hey, huge shout out to the women who actually treat Valentine’s Day as a fair and equally important holiday for themselves and their significant other. But let’s be honest, there aren’t many of you out there.
The Gift Exchange
Wait hold on there Josh. Exchange? That usually involves two parties. Oh I know Archie. You’re right. Let me elaborate. So to be clear, once more (yes some women need to be told things more than once to clarify) these are things I have seen and heard from other men over the years. So if you have an issue, feel free to come at us, but if you’re angry at any of these statements it’s probably because…wellllll, they might kinda, sorta apply to you perhaps? Anyways, the gift giving part of Valentine’s Day is literally the most stressful part for dudes. We want to be able to get you something unique and special that is different than a box of chocolates, lingerie, or over-priced flowers. Those are just basic gifts – the ones that often even get dismissed as the last-minute, no-effort-put-in gifts. If a guy truly cares, and trust me, there are many of us who do and are all about the simple million little things that show it. Just ask the Shit Show: A Half Assed True Crime Podcast – they’ll tell ya how it’s the little things that matter most.
What do I get her? Will this be enough? Is she going to like this? Is it the right style? Size? Color???Every guy.
I can already hear it. ‘Well Josh, my dude is a piece of sh*t and doesn’t show any appreciation – ever – let alone on Valentine’s Day.‘ Really? Listen brah, if your guy doesn’t show you appreciation and you’re sticking around, that’s your problem. If you’re banking on the one day a year during the coldest month in most places, for him to come around and show you appreciation – you need to get out of that. He’s not about to have an epiphany!
But, from our point of view, and of course my personal experience – no matter how many roses, chocolates, dinners, or diamonds we buy – it’s never good enough. Women love to complain about what they get (or wish they got) on Valentine’s Day. In fact, it’s pretty selfish – remember that tie you bought him that he never wears? Relationships are supposed to be 50/50, give and take – equal as most women would contest. Or they should be right? So then, why does the phrase happy wife, happy life exist? Just think about it. It’s funny right? It’s just a joke. Is it really though? Or deep down – do most feel there’s some truth to it. It’s directly suggesting her happiness is more important than his. We’ll let you mull that one over.
Do You Actually Know What WE Want?
You see that guy above thinking? Do you know what he’s thinking about? He’s thinking about what he would want for Valentine’s Day. The smirk on his face says it all. Whatever it is, it gets him. But instead, what do women often think men want? To get laid right? Well, you want to hear something crazy, that’s not really what all men are longing for! I mean, let’s be honest for a moment here. You. Yes YOU. If you have been married or in a long-term relationship, sex has likely happened numerous times. So why would sex on Valentine’s Day be any different? I mean, besides relieving the stress from finding the right gift but that’s besides the point. Guys also have those things that are often mentioned. Feelings and emotions are they? We too want to feel appreciated! Seriously! It’s that simple! You’re welcome by the way.
Men can be just as self conscious and in some cases, more than you think. But we have a hard time talking about it or admitting it, because, well, let’s face it – we’d be weak. Honestly, it’s a pride thing with us. It’s just the way we are wired. We refuse to show ‘weakness’ from emotion or vulnerability.
Ugh. He’s always watching sports.Most women.
Sit down with us at dinner. Ask us how things are at work, create organic conversation – we’re not robots you know. And after dinner, cozy up and watch part of a sports game (which most of you typically hate to watch). The fact that you actually make the effort to sit there with us – that’s what matters… and what do you know – it’s one of those little things we talked about earlier. It’s as simple as you acknowledging the things we do and to show that they don’t go unnoticed. Its not sex, money, guns, jerseys, or whatever guys want these days. Most of us get that stuff for ourselves because that’s just what we do. We want something, we know what it is and where to get it, we’ll get it when we want to get it.
Ladies.. and gentlemen – it’s simple. Show the love and affection you have and you will see how well that is received and more often than not – reciprocated. Look at that – what a healthy relationship should be! Valentine’s Day should be a day for people to celebrate their love and compassion for one another. Not for those teddy bears and flowers that are suddenly priced high due to ‘supply and demand’.
Well, by now some of you have likely rolled your eyes and nodded your heads countless times. But seriously, we’re not trying to be d*cks here. We’re simply telling you what a lot of guys talk about but never speak up about because they want to avoid that fight.
While myself and Archie anticipate some hate – that is not our intention. It just proves you didn’t comprehend any of what was said and leaves you jaded and biased.
We hope you all have a safe and happy Sunday.