Watch out! It’s the dreaded week of February. The one that women all love and hate at the same time. Yep, February 14th – Valentine’s Day! The week when “I am ready for this” said no man ever or “Who cares” said just about every woman. Let’s face the facts. Men hate Valentine’s Day because of the pressure they feel. Women will tell every man they don’t care only to lower the expectations of this perfect romantic day. The worst is for the single women. It only reminds us Princes Charming is still a no-show. As for the single man? Well – they’re just off the hook.
Today I was asked asked by a man to write an article that answered this question “What can men do better for women on Valentine’s Day?” Gentleman, I get it! I completely understand the pressure that society has created and the expectations women have set on this one day and the spot it puts you in.
What was my response? “I am not sure I am the best person to do this? I really just want to drink wine and sleep until Monday and never hear another person say the words Valentine’s Day.” He then in turn gave me the worst replay he could have ever given, “Ok.” In my head all I could hear was “Ok! Really, ok? You are asking me how a man can make Valentine’s Day better and you’re saying ok?“
You are probably wondering why I feel like I am not the best person to write an article on how men can do better on Valentine’s Day, right? Simple answer is, I did exactly what a lot of women do in that moment. I avoided having any expectations for Valentine’s Day. Every year and in every relationship, since I can remember, I have dropped expectations especially for this day. You see, men like to come in to my life and set me up to have all these expectations of them. They fill my head with hopes and dreams and how amazing they will treat me. One week, two weeks, a month – maybe six. Heck, sometimes a year goes by and what happens? I’m let down, frustrated, and back to having zero expectations for any man.
So who is setting up who? Are you men setting us women up? It happens more than you think. Example A: Me. Are women setting themselves up by believing in the idea of romance? That maybe, just maybe – this guy is different? 100% we do! Single women want to believe at some point in time, Prince Charming will no longer be on back-order. He will be shipped to the correct address and belong to us. We will live happily ever after.
This year – I am single. Oh, so very single, and I already know that I’m only going to be let down once again. I’m very aware that Prince Charming or Mr. Wonderful is not showing up at my door. I also know there will be no man planning a romantic dinner date, sending me flowers, no box of chocolates, or a stuffed animal, and definitely no man bringing me coffee in the morning. Yet, as much as I don’t want to say it, the dream and the expectation is still there. By him telling me “ok” it was just another man getting off the hook on filling any expectation that I may have deep inside.
It’s really quite simple, really – it is. All a woman wants on Valentine’s Day or for any day really, is to feel loved by that one special man in her life. Okay, on Valentine’s Day we also want to be able to gush about it to our girlfriends and on social media. In a twisted way, Valentine’s Day is so we can show the rest of the world how much we are loved by you. Crazy right! As a man, you should want to show the world how much you love and adore her. Let’s be clear – the “ok” man does not love me. I would have hoped (there go those expectations again) that he would respect me and maybe even adore me enough to say something other than just “ok.” Something sweet, kind, encouraging – hell even “Stop it get yourself together, you know you’re amazing.”
To answer the question “How can a man make a women’s Valentine’s Day better?” You make her feel special. When she tells you she doesn’t care, don’t believe her. She is lying to you! What’s important is that you go out of your way to make sure she knows how amazing she is. It doesn’t have to be a five-star dinner or a piece of jewelry or anything crazy; although trust me we would love it. It could be something as small as a project around the house, a long walk together, send her lunch at work, or even cook dinner together. As her man, you know the little things that just make her happy.
Oh, and for the love of God – do this for your girlfriends too. Hell, do it for every woman you encounter this one day. A simple little compliment could mean the world to some of us. Try it.